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Sunday, January 2nd, 2005
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3:55 am - Private Garden by Ryan Kelly
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Some may say its sappy even downright silly
But I for one, treasure the memories that made my world tick
The little things, not really much
Yet, why do they remain in my understanding?
I suspect it’s because each of them became a part of me
Good times, good friends, a touch of ecstasy
In their commonality, I think that you will see
They’re not all mine they belong to you and me
Delivered bottled milk sitting on the stoop
Early risers always get the creamy top
Homemade root beer brewing in the cellar
Bottles popping everywhere, “Mom! It’s ready to drink!”
Morning paper routes, squirrels scampering at your feet
Pot brewed coffee at the firehouse to comfort and give you heat
Pokey, what a dog, guarding your every move
Mrs. Mackey’s sweet bread waiting on her front step, just for you
Being the showoff at every Boy Scout meet
Giggling girls and bulged eyed boys always unsure of themselves
Pine creek, swimming naked, free, perhaps a glance at the competition
That wonderful cigarette behind the school, enjoyable because it was forbidden
Mom’s city fried chicken made with pork
So tender to eat no need for a fork
Dad’s advices like you never want to go to jail
Mostly because some big bully will want a piece of you tail
Those crazy aunts that drank like fishes during the penny poker games
Oh the woods, truly created for children, their secret domain
What treasures we found there, what treasures we hid there
Returnable pop bottles that financed our candy addiction
Now there are many more like this but I’m going to stop right here
To say we’ve shared many things most certainly is clear
It’s what binds us together, the cement of our lives
It’s our sameness incapable of disguise
Yet, beyond all this similitude there lies a private garden
Planted with the most personal of seeds
They bare the fruits that give us our uniqueness
Seldom shared, yet longing to, we divulge them only to the nearest of near
That day at age five when I sensed I had what I then thought was the curse
Sitting there behind the hedges holding Ronnie’s hand, giggling
Purring as a cat being belly rubbed, trying to understand why
Not once thinking of right or wrong
Then in fifth grade, walking home from school with my best friend
That damned purr again, the purr that forced me to run
To end a valued friendship, I couldn’t share the truth
If I didn’t understand how would anyone
Then my first real crush, consuming me, overtaking my life
Bradley, tall, slender, cute, sweet, smart, really an Adonis
Sitting cattycorner from his in English class, my eyes soaked him in
My first real knowledge that all men are not created equal
Then in the ninth grade finally, love
I could think his words before he said them
Spent hours adoring every move, every word from his lips
When he returned my love my private garden flowered
It was okay, I could love another man and he return the love
Such a wonderful memory to keep to myself, still I did
And many more to follow as I weaved in and out of love
Adding sweet memories to my private garden
Now my friend you see how much the same we are
How many things we shared as we cultivated our private gardens
You not telling me your secrets or I not sharing mine
Somehow, it really wasn’t that important, you learn that over time
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3:47 am - Hypocrites Enjoying The Freedom Of Religion
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In my last article “Listen My Children And You Shall Hear,” I purposely imposed a situation where I included all Christians as the enemy in the battle for a society based on freedom for all. I received a few responses that anyone would expect to receive when they choose to remove the gray areas. While one might believe I hate Christians, it’s absolutely not true, and the fact that I speak highly of the right to freedom of religion indicates my true feeling. What I do dislike is any group that does not hold true to their creed. Being a member of any group, organization, or religion has some responsibility that goes along with being a part it.
One response stated:
This is the reason why this party has been rejected for the highest office. Not all Democrats hold to this view and how illogical to lump all Christians into this category.
I had hoped that I would get that customary “lumping all Christians into this category” remark. If someone in a group that I belong to is spewing out misleading and hateful dissertations that destroy the very ideology of my group’s beliefs, I’m going to stand up and make them accountable. So far, I’ve not seen many good Christians impeding the efforts of Falwell, Dobson, Robertson, and others who destroy the very concepts of Christianity. When I see that happening then I’ll stop my lumping.
Another response:
I must be missing something in life. I am a "born again” Christian and I have never had anyone complain about my zeal. Perhaps I don’t have any. I don’t know if the threat you feel is real or not, but I think what you are speaking of is not a great movement toward fundamentalism, but more so a great silent majority being awakened.
Good people don’t complain about zeal, they tolerate it, and I’m not disapproving of zeal. Properly administered it is a worthy practice. However, used excessively and without decency, as it is with fundamentalists, it becomes an undesirable behavior that defeats its purpose. When Christians are aligned with the zealotry of bigots and money collectors, they include themselves in that behavior. When this silent majority wakes up their most important task is to separate themselves from those that destroy the true Christian message.
In Proverbs 11:9, “A hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbor: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered.” Clearly a warning not to believe all you hear, to seek out the truth, and by doing so, become just. For reasons I can’t really explain, this is not happening in some of our churches today. People live by the headlines, not the sermon. Simply I ask, how long are you going to allow the hypocrites to lie to you before you educate yourself? In the law, lack of knowledge is not a defense. The bible seems to agree.
Being the eternal optimist that I am, I believe that when conservative Christians seek out the truth, they will see the error in aligning with those that misguide them. They will recognize the folly of the deceivers and therefore deny them the power and wealth that they so openly desire. Through knowledge, they will see that most religious coalitions are about money and politics, and not religion. They will take their finances and their faith back to their local church and study and live the doctrines that their faith was established on.
There is much need for a religious rebirth in our nation. The kind of religion that many churches now offer. A church that teaches love and condemns hate, helps the needy, gives substance to the soul. The kind of church that reaches out to strengthen America, that brings us together, regardless of our differences or our sins. We must stop those, in lambs clothing, from destroying these churches that are the core of our morality and justness. Christians must once again set the example.
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3:38 am - Listen My Children And You Will Hear.
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All Non-Christians, Liberals, Secularists, and even Christians that do not identify themselves as Fundamentalists, numbering in the millions, are the targets of an abhorrent and immoral conservative Christian movement. Many conservative Christians like to disassociate themselves from this movement by pointing their judgmental fingers at known religious zealots such as Falwell, Robertson, and Dobson, who are in reality their mouthpieces. Anyone that has experienced the zeal of a “born again” Christian immediately understands how committed they are in spreading the word. Unfortunately, the words they spread are often misguided theology and untruths spewed out by overzealous fundamentalist.
The United States is gradually dividing into two sub-cultures: secularism and conservative Christianity. These divisions hold great dangers, because religions tend to be based on an oral or written belief system that is accepted on faith by its believers. Because of the origins of religion and the way in which they are structured, followers of different religions hold conflicting, irresolvable beliefs concerning deity, humanity, and the rest of the universe. These beliefs cannot readily be harmonized. Conflicts, hate murders, and genocides are the logical result.
I’m concerned that the secular side is ill prepared for the battle that has begun, and even worst, that many of them can’t even conceptualize that there is a battle being waged. If I might reminisce Paul Revere for a moment, one if by government, two if by religion, and three if by a conspiracy of both. I’m wagering my money on three. In common-law fashion, the church and state, infatuated by each other’s power and wealth, court one another in a manner that is inherently destructive to the natural order of our free society. We now have government-sponsored religion. One can only demand that this faith-based initiative be challenged in the court soon. I cringe every time I think of taxpayers' dollars going to support the Christians' prostelizing agendas.
Forcing their morality and religious convictions on a society based on the “freedom of religion,” they use all tactics to destroy harmony in this great nation. Falwell, in his blasphemous tirade said, “The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen'.” Any true liberal that believes in the American Dream, with liberty and freedom for all, know that those are fighting words.
When Chief Justice Moore’s opinion describes the lives of gay and lesbian people as “abhorrent,” “immoral,” “detestable,” an “inherent evil,” and “an intolerable evil.” He condemns homosexuality as “so heinous that it defies one’s ability to describe it.” Relying on ancient sources of criminal law, rather than current knowledge about lesbian and gay parents and their children, he emphasizes that, in his mind, any person in a lesbian or gay relationship is unfit to have custody. That unyielding position is contrary to the Canons of law and shows Chief Justice Moore’s disregard for the requirements of his judicial office. Have the liberals demanded he step down?
We have reached the precipice in the matter of the separation of church and state. The enemy is gearing up for the largest assault against the rights of our countrymen. We must take action immediately. Only by building the political power of liberal Democrats will we be able to stop the conservatives from achieving their dangerous vision for the country and the world! We must also embolden liberal Democrats to fight against the conservative tide in Washington, DC and state legislatures throughout the country. Don’t get the mistaken idea that the opposition is decent, honest and conservative, that simply isn't the case. Like a faith in rationality, they move forward in blind pursuit of wealth and power.
Ryan Kelly is a writer, eBook publisher, and a liberal activist who is involved in using the Internet to bring about change in our society. After the re-election of George Bush, he established a grassroots alliance for liberals. The Equality Alliance Mission. Visit (T.E.A.M.)
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3:35 am - The True Gay Agenda
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For many Americans, the ringing out of the old year and ringing in the new one, will be accomplished much the same as it was the year before. However, for one faction of our society, the gay community, the New Year will bring with it a new journey. A journey that will require much more than quickly forgotten resolutions and the promise of hopes fulfilled. Those whimsical traditions set aside to make room for a renewed commitment to achieving equality. History, an often-neglected tool, can only inspire them.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy said, “The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie--deliberate, contrived, and dishonest--but the myth--persistent, persuasive, and unrealistic.” The truth must be presented in a manner that defuses the myths as opposed to countering the lies. All major mental health organizations and some churches dissolved the lies over thirty years ago. The persistent and unrealistic myths must now be dealt with through education and example.
Martin Luther King Jr. said, “There is nothing more dangerous than to build a society, with a large segment of people in that society, who feel that they have no stake in it; who feel that they have nothing to lose. People, who have a stake in their society, protect that society, but when they don't have it, they unconsciously want to destroy it.” He then went on to say, “Our nettlesome task is to discover how to organize our strength into compelling power.”
What a lesson in those words. While being involved politically, in the election process and lobbying, is an absolute necessity, the gay community must organize and stake its claim. The days of battle cries like “We’re here and we’re queer” are past. Today, gays must begin to live openly in all communities as a testament of our commonalities. The way to remove fear, indifference, and intolerance is to put a face on it.
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3:29 am - Backward Christian Soldiers
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Many years ago, I had a religious rebirth, much the same as our current president. I was born again. Again, like our president, I was looking for a new way to live my life, one with more promise for the future. As a Christian, I spent considerable time studying the Bible, attending courses on Bible interruption, and participating in Christian activities. Anyone that knew me back then would suggest that I was “on fire with the spirit.” They would also confess that there wasn’t a conservative bone in my body and that I was definitely a “Liberal for Jesus”. Incapable of judging other, dedicated to peace and harmony, a throw off of my hippie roots.
However, my journey to the promise land slowly dissolved as I walked the path. From church to church, I witnessed immoral acts, rampant disregard of the Christian creed, and even violations of the law. Minister’s sexually seducing members, deacons absconding offerings, members tutoring other members in the practice of speaking in tongues, to name only a few. No prayers or forgiveness could stop the endless stream of unchristian activities. This was followed by a multitude of news reports that uncovered sexual and financial disobedience by major trusted televangelists. Was there no end to the depravity in the name of Christianity? Eventually I decided to take the route of Voltaire, who did not support the dogmatic theology of institutional religions, his religiosity was anticlerical. As a humanist, he advocated religious and social tolerance, and that bring me to purpose of this article.
The twenty-five regional executives of the 1.5 million-member American Baptist Churches in the USA jointly announced that the denomination's ongoing controversy over homosexuality "threatens to break us apart." A pastoral statement to "preserve unity," released this month after a meeting of denomination leaders, said they had personally agreed to "voluntarily refrain from" naming sexually active gays and lesbians to national and regional positions. The church leaders also said they would not participate in same-sex marriage ceremonies. Sure shining example.
Bishop Michael Sheridan of Colorado Springs said in a pastoral letter to his diocese that Catholics who vote for politicians who support same-sex marriage and abortion might not receive communion unless they repent, the Associated Press reports. The letter was sent May 1 to 125,000 Catholics. Supporters of stem-cell research and euthanasia were also mentioned, as the church considers them "intrinsically evil." You know I’m longing to become a member after reading that.
These unbelievable statements return us to a medieval view of politics where the church controlled the state, and are an example of how many Christians would like to remove the wall of separation of church and state. The recent political antics have many visualizing Christianity as a Republican religion, which is far from reality. The zealot fundamentalist televangelists are deforming Christianity into a theocracy. However, neither television, nor philosophy, nor awareness of religious hypocrisy has undermined religious faith nearly as much as the failure of traditional theodicy. Therein lies the call to duty for Christians worldwide.
It’s not a call to fundamentalism as television has portrayed it, but instead, a call to traditional Christian teaching. There is a world of difference between what we might call a traditionalist interpretation and what is commonly called a fundamentalist interpretation. Fundamentalists are not traditionalists. They actually reject the tradition of the community in favor of a personal interpretation, which condemns the tradition as either obscurantist or assimilations. However, 90% of the world's Christians are traditionalists, and therefore they carry the responsibility of living and portraying true Christianity.
Today more than ever, traditional Christians must stand and denounce the fundamentalist attack that seeks to destroy the true doctrine of love that guides their beliefs. Disassociating themselves by turning off The Christian Broadcasting Network, tithing in their own place of worship, and encouraging their pastors to remove politics from their pulpit.
Why is this so important to me, someone that has dissatisfaction with institutional religion? Regardless of my religious beliefs, I’m an American first. As such, I believe in democracy, the freedom of religion, and one nation undivided. The Christian Fundamentalist movement is a dividing, anti-democratic movement that causes hate and intolerance. It’s creating the soft-minded men that Martin Luther King Jr. spoke of when he said, “A nation or civilization that continues to produce soft-minded men purchases its own spiritual death on an installment plan.” Don’t allow these spiritual abusers to make you soft-minded.
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| Friday, August 27th, 2004
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10:54 pm - Holy Potato Heads!
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I can't believe that I haven't posted anything here since July 6th. Man life has been busy. And I'm thankful that it is. Nothing is better than having things to accomplish. In my last post I mentioned a couple of websites I had created. Well, I've built a few more since then. The one I just finished is Gbook Ebook. It's a website to help gay writers get their ebooks online or to convert there regular book to ebook format and then have it marketed.
I had noticed that most of the ebooks site don't even have a gay & lesbian category, let alone any ebooks. So, we'll see what happens. But that leads me into the next thing that happened. My brother was having great difficulties with the people who run the server for his business. It's a long story that includes someone actually stealing his website, email not functional most of the time, and then when he called they called him an asshole and said it was his fault. It was pretty bizarre. Well, I'll be real honest with you, I let it stay that way for quite a while because my brother and I don't work together well. Finally I had enough when I saw that his website was gone again. So......
I hooked him up with a new server, saving him $1200 a year. Then I designed a totally new website with a REAL shopping cart,forums,etc. We're waiting now for the domain transfer to take place. It's been a week and nothing, but I'm in no hurry as I'm still tweaking the shopping cart program.
On top of all this I'm trying to get the final edit completed on my second book so I can give my other brother a copy when he visits from out of town this Sunday. I may have to give him a copy with the last few chapters unedited. He was an english teacher years ago and I want to run this book past him before publishing. The last time I didn't. He did say that the writing was okay since it was written using a casual writing format.
Well, guess that's it. I should come by here more often:) I started a Blog at Blogger called Gay Insights. It's kewl like Live Journal. I mostly share news articles relating to gay issues.
Seeya soon:) Yeah Right!
current mood:  accomplished
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| Tuesday, July 6th, 2004
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12:27 pm - Wow! Time passes quickly.
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I can't believe it's been almost four months since I last posted anything. I've really been so busy that by the time I finish all the things I want to get accomplished, I'm not in the mood to post. So, I decided to take a minute early in the day and add a new entry here.
I finally have my new ebook and internet marketing website completed, (well, websites are never really completed), and now I'm working on getting some traffic to it. Take a look and tell me what you think.
Ryan Kelly Publishing
I've been reading all this news about how much money they are making in the Adult Entertainment Industry on the Internet, so I built a Gay Adult website. I'm not sure I'll keep it online, but if it get hits and makes me a few bucks, what the heck. If you are inclined to visit adult websites, take a look and let me know what you think. I tried to make it an informative website, with News and Chat, along with the galleries. Let me know what you think.
Gay Guide & Galleries
I'm just a few days away from finishing the second book in my Octagon Anthology, "Octagon The Middle Years". My first book never made it to the best seller's list (LOL), but it was a success. I'm currently looking for a different publishing route for this new book as I wasn't very happy with the service I received from Infinity Publishing. I learned a lot in the process of writing that book. Things like, keep the forewords short, don't be too sexually explicit, and try not to preach too much. I've made all those changes in the second book, and I'm very pleased with the results. My writing abilities are improving as I learn from mistakes.
Well, that's it for now, so I'll catch ya on the next wave!
current mood:  busy
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| Monday, April 12th, 2004
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7:25 pm - Lot's to do
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Well, I've got the computer habit again. I've been on this thing for a week from wakeup till bedtime. I have accomplished a lot. I also have fixed major issues with my friends computer. Let's see. On mine I updated all the software, intalled 7 new pieces of software, learned a lot about Hog Dog (My html and website software. I changed the entire look of my system in a gray and purple theme, enlarged the text, moved all the icons to a hidden tray at the bottom. I love it! I also redid some websites that really needed updated. Wow, where they out of date:) I installed ZoneAlarm and so far it seems to be easy and effective.
To get some exercise, I'd get up and complete a cleaniong task. I completely sanitized the kitchen and the bathroom. I cleaned all the lighting fixtures, vacuumed, cleaned the inside of all the windows, did laundry, and on and on. Yeah, I've been a busy boy, but I feel a sence of accomplishment. I love a clean place and a smooth running PC, not neccessarily in that order.
Okay, I gotta tell ya, I lost my high speed PC and I'm stuck using a 266 Mhz, 48K Mem, 4 gig hd, with Windows 98. It's slow, but has really been able to do what I need. I installed a CD burner that I found in a box in the garage and it works fine. Downloaded a music conversion program and have converted som of my favorite tunes to MP3 for my portable Nike MP3 player. (Couldn't go to sleep without it).
Now that all that is done I'll probably start editing my second book. I have it almost completed, maybe another 100 pages to go, but I'd rather stop and edit before I go any farther. I have a writer's block right now anyway.
Okay then, That's what is going on over here. What the heck are you doing? :)
Later!
current mood: accomplished
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| Tuesday, March 30th, 2004
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1:24 pm - The Return
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What can I say, it's been a while. Lots of things happened while I was gone. Whether I'll share any of it is questionable. I'm nearing the end of a nightmare that basicly took my life away from me for the past year and a half. Living through it is one thing, but writing or talking about is upsetting at the least. You've heard "something good comes out of bad", or something like that. Well, it is true. I'm definitely a different person. Years of confusion have come to an end. I know myself now much better than I ever could have before, and that is some of the good that has come out of all this. Also, I was becoming a very trusting person prior to this, but this woke me up. I trust in nothing now. Yeah, I know, you gotta trust in something. Well I do, I trust in me.
The main reason I decided to get back on Livejournal is to kill some time and have some fun. So let's go! First, I was surprised to see almost all of my friends were still here. What a group of great people! And LJ has added some cool features. I'm an Internet Junkie, that hasn't changed. Which reminds me. I'm still on Hot or Not, and my rating is still right up there. You gotta love that!
Okay, it's time for my exercise, so I'll end now. BTW, my health is great. I put on a few pounds but I'm working on that. At my lowest I was 170 and I'm at 180, so not to much to lose. I'm walking a mile on the treadmill and looking to increase that.
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| Friday, October 18th, 2002
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8:35 am - Stiff
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Funny how many words have many different meanings, take the word stiff for example. In a word relation conversation I would first think of dick. This morning I awoke with a reminder of that. After tackling that puppy I started to think about the word stiff. The second use of that word that came to mind was a dead person. OMG, how could that be? Oscar wasn't dead this morning by any means of the word. Then meaning three, getting stiffed, taken, ripped off.
I don't like the way my brain is working today. Too investigative. I will however begin to refer to Oscar when in an erect position as Woodie!
current mood:  horny
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